Staying Authentic in English Networking

Many women walk into networking events feeling either over prepared or completely silent. Especially when the conversations happen in English, the goal often shifts from connecting to performing well on an invisible English exam and that pressure quietly activates our nervous system’s social threat mode.

When you step into a room where English is the main language, your amygdala can send a subtle message: Unfamiliar faces = potential risk. Your jaw tightens, your smile feels rehearsed, your voice slightly changes. That’s why preparing your speech is not enough. We also need to prepare our nervous system.

Today, I want to share a simple framework I use with my clients. It helps them stay grounded and connected while speaking English.

Why a Framework Helps

Because the brain feels safe within structure. Uncertainty is perceived as threat; structure means safety.

A clear conversational frame acts like a gentle roadmap. It quiets the inner ‘What do I say/do next?’ panic and allows your focus to shift toward meaningful connection.

You don’t have to throw yourself into the deep end to learn to swim.  You can train your brain to stay calm in social situations by practicing within a safe and  familiar structure.

1. SEE & NOTICE

Enter the room as an observer, not a performer. Our visual system is the fastest to signal safety so when you intentionally look around, your brain receives evidence that you are not in danger.

Try this:
Take a slow glance around. Notice something small: a gesture, an object, a tone of voice and use it as your way in. Instead of starting with a generic ‘Hello, how are you?’, open with genuine noticing:

• I love the energy in this room, everyone seems so engaged.
• I saw you asking a great question during the panel. That was really insightful.

2. BRIDGE

Connection deepens when you find common ground. Neuroscience calls this mirror neuron activation. When we sense similarity, empathy lights up in both brains.
In microseconds your system whispers, it is safe to talk to this person.

Try this:

• Your comment reminded me of …..
• I completely relate to ……
• I had a very similar experience ….
• You mentioned ….

These small bridges build trust faster than perfect grammar ever could.

3. EXIT

This is where most people struggle, I know 😊 Starting a conversation feels doable, ending it  without awkwardness requires awareness.

If you stay too long, the energy drops. If you leave too fast, the connection feels unfinished. But when you close with intention, you regulate both your own energy and the other person’s dopamine balance so they remember you as calm, professional and positive.

Try this:

• It was lovely connecting with you. I hope we can chat later.
• Great to meet you. I am going to grab a coffee. Maybe we’ll catch up after the panel?
• I really enjoyed this conversation. I’ll follow you on LinkedIn so we can stay in touch.
• I’ll let you mingle more but I am glad we got to talk.
• I hope you enjoy the rest of the event. Let’s touch base soon.

Now It is Your Turn

At your next event, let your goal be connection, not performance.

Again and again, I see the same pattern in my work and research: Fluency doesn’t come from vocabulary. It comes from a regulated nervous system. When you feel safe in your body, your English starts to breathe too.